Hey, I'm working on getting better at portraiture. If you'd like to see yourself in paint, send me a picture of you that you like, I'll paint you, then send you a high-quality scan, suitable for photo-printing.

lost in the rhythmic dance of cascading waterfall-joy, and down
the heavens reel above us as this time passes.
we sink eternal fire-light of gods and kings below our breast bone
fierce with desire and hidden tongues of wrath and pain,
rainbow taste of myself in my mind
salt-blue and bitter-green.
I wanted peace in my soul, that's right
but all I can feel is this flight or fight.

parasitoidal vapours of the human soul
nodes of hermaphroditic desires burning bright,
but casting no light.
hold it out and share before ends the sun and stars
hold it close and dear before ends the moon and eyes,
clutching at sick-twisted nodules of fading light
under water skies of blue and red.

thick drip of soft souls distorted with bloat and bleak
Stumbling around and down, prickling slippery night behind these eyes
touching corpuscular forms below the integument of reality.
grey world of writhing form and the twisting of the dreamer's mind,
myself and all, down in the ululating darkness as the gibbous moon rose again
casting shadows with the searing pain of hope,
Zephyric blessings twined in our hair.

Date:	2008-02-28 15:06
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	quixotic
Music:	Taptaptap of the keyboard.

Do you guys remember this? How I was so unhappy when I learnt that it looked, apparently, just like a scene from the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie, making it so that I could not use the picture in the book? Yeah, you remember. I still haven't seen that movie, even though I hear it was way better than the second one, by the way.

Well, the point is, I did another. It started by accident, actually. The base is coffee, laid down on drawing paper, and the snow-flakes started as just random doodles (note the couple that don't look snow-flaky at all: those were first). Then I dropped it for a bit, and when I picked it up, I saw a desert! The ship I drew in, and the chain, but Confucius is a collage element. I thought making him look like a Men-In-Black style gov't employee was perfect, for what he did to China's government and pervading philosophy. Also, I like the down-castness of the whole scene.

I'm glad I had to re-do it, this one's better.





And here's the text again:

Confucius was driving through the desert with his students when he got a flat tire. They had no spare, so one student called an auto mechanic from his cell phone. When the mechanic heard that it was none other than Confucius with a flat, he said, “Man, I feel sorry for that guy.”

The student asked, “Is that because of the flat?”

The mechanic replied, “No, Confucius has far bigger problems than that! Let me elaborate – visiting a witchdoctor during the day could be a good idea, because he might give you some useful potions. Visiting a witchdoctor at night is just asking for trouble, because that's when they practice evil voodoo. What's more, if you invite a witchdoctor into your house to cast spells over your sleeping body, then chances are that you'll have quite a few nightmares. It seems that Confucius has employed a resident witchdoctor to cast spells over his disciples' sleeping bodies. And he has brought the curse upon himself. Confucius gets chased from city to city, not because he wants to travel, but because he wears out his welcome. Sometimes he goes without food for days, living on the verge of death! Isn't that akin to some voodoo-inspired living nightmare?”

When the mechanic arrived with a tire, he exclaimed, “No wonder you don't have a spare: this is a boat! Although boats work wonders in water, it's super tough work to push them across land. Now it's obvious why Confucius has so many problems! He drags the ideals of the past around like this heavy boat. I'll tell you, each era and place has different laws and customs for you to consider before you can freely move around. If you try to conform the era or place to your ideals, it'll be like pushing a boat across land: too much struggle with too little accomplishment. Instead of this tire, I'll offer you advice. Just go with the flow of things and leave the boat behind.”

Date:	2008-02-27 16:41
Subject:	Niche Prize, et al.
Security:	Public
Mood:	okay
Music:	Matt Chaimberlain

This morning was beautiful. The sky was that uniform cloudiness that doesn't look oppressive, as if the world were contained in the skin of a tarnished pearl. The sun had that softened winter look, like melted butter, so that you can see all the millions of miles between her and us. The cold helps, with knowing that distance. And there was a constant thin snow, driven by fierce bitter winds, swirling around and back in on itself, creating this texture of motion and dizziness to the world, as well as paling and brightening everything by a shade or two. It felt good to be out, wearing wool and cold on the ends, but warm in the middle. The contrast to inside felt good.

Man, I need to get outside more. Just to feel it. I feel like I've lost a little spiritual balance, being stuck in a windowless office for so long.

Last week I spent scrambling to get together an entry for this art contest, hosted by the Royal Institute of Great Britain called the Niche Prize. They've got these two niches they want to fill with art, and are holding this contest to pick that art. It was a bit last minute, as I only heard about the thing a week before the Friday deadline, but I think it turned out well, even if the drawings don't pop the way I'd hoped they would. It's a functional entry, complete, but it doesn't have the sparkle I'd wanted it to have -- I wanted a shoe-in, sure-win entry, and instead I submitted a decent-chance entry. Oh well, what do you expect on short notice?

This is the society that's associated with the Journal Nature, the most prestigious scientific journal in the world; it's 200 years old. It's science and art together, which is what I'm good at. And it was poorly publicized, and there's no cash prize, which I think will work in my favour: a lot of the big-names in art won't submit without the carrot of a prize (I don't think), because they don't need the prestige that something like this comes with. So maybe I've got a shot at actually winning, I hope.

Here's the text of the entry:

"The piece I am submitting is an installation, to be built and installed on-site. It is titled “Circular Paradox,” and will consist of (approximately) eleven small shrubs cast in wax, wired together to form an ascending ladder, twisted into a double helix.

"The purpose of this installation is multi-faceted. The first is to point out the intrinsic beauty of the structure of DNA. The second purpose is to provide thought about the nature of life, and the fact that all life is, in a sense, ‘constructed’ from its DNA. The third is to fuse the macro- and the mirco-scales of biology. By creating a DNA helix, one of the smallest structures studied by biologists, out of trees, one of the largest organisms most people are familiar with, we encourage thought about the range of scales biology, and indeed, all science, works on. Lastly, by constructing the DNA helix out of something which was itself constructed of DNA, we point out the fundamental paradoxic beauty of scale, and the cyclical nature of all life.

"The wax is a symbol of stasis, and is itself a natural organic molecule. It also, importantly, serves to keep the organic sculpture form decomposing. I’ve worked with wax-coated organics extensively for several years now [okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but one year!], and know from experience that they last quite well for many years, though probably not indefinitely, by their very nature."

And here are a couple of the images:


This is the drawing I was most pleased with. It's good, though it doesn't show the full twist of the helix. I'm planning on having it go around twice, if I actually get to build it. I sent in this drawing, and two more, one of which was a schematic.




This is a photograph of a wax-dipped shrub that I constructed. I actually sent in three photos of this, from different angles.

I really hope I at least get a Runner-Up: this'd be a big coup for me, artistically. It'd go a long way t'wards providing some sort of legitimate reputation of science-and-art for me, something to point at and say, "Look! Look what I did!" Something to give me a credible voice in the art-world. Silly that it takes a "win" like that to do such things, rather than just having art to speak for itself, doesn't it?

For anyone that wants it: a Flesh Socket sample song!

http://filebox.vt.edu/users/rooster/13%20Are%20You%20Whet%20with%20the%20Spirit.mp3

Just download and enjoy.

I got my batch of CD's in the mail yesterday! It's really exciting -- they look so good! I even sold one today! Wheeeee! So yeah, the whole thing makes me absurdly happy. I wish Parker would do the thing with the MySpace so that I could administer it -- I'd love it if this new Socket would take off in some discernible way, but I think it'll take a lot of work friending and being silly on the MySpace, and cetera, for that to happen. And I want to try! Wouldn't it be funny if this CD actually turns a profit, becomes an underground hit?

Oh, this is the "radio release" song for the album. Rana, a friend of a friend I met the other day, wants to start playing it on her show on the college radio station! So that's cool. Ste plays a wild mix of stuff, from Fintroll to Bjork, so it oughta fit right in.

Date:	2008-02-22 16:18
Subject:	more Fleshiness!
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper
Music:	DragonForce - Deathsquad Revolution

So, I promised to talk a bit about the art for the latest Flesh Socket CD. So, here's a talk about it. I came up with the idea after spending a good bit of time listening to Dissection, Rick's latest black metal crazy. Those guys are some serious satanic shit, and it influenced the music on this one. There's the black metal blasphemy and satanism showing through, with hilarious parodies poking fun at desecration and the invocations. So I wanted to add that to the album cover, and it just hit me in a flash: Pentagram with SOCKET! Here's the original idea, sketched out hastily:

( Pictures and MORE! )


And that, little ones, is the story of the Flesh Socket art, for the new album, FreeMetal. I hope you enjoyed.

Date:	2008-02-18 12:21
Subject:	FREE METAL!
Security:	Public
Mood:	excited
Music:	Flesh Socket - FreeMetal

Hey guys! Look, the new Flesh Socket's out! Wheeeeeee!



So this makes me obscenely happy, and I'm not honestly sure why. Something about having a part in the musical process, even if I'm just screaming. Also, I've gotten a bit more into black/death metal since we did the last one, and I'm really happy with the vocal direction that we've been taking, as well as the progress that Parker and Andy were able to make on the music. Really gratuitously metal, funny, and yet still really good. There's a feeling of energy, a synergistic cry for humour in real music here. Maybe. The song "Admiral Ukulele" actually turned into the first song on the new Viben Oodle CD, "Mein Eyeopening Love Broadcast." One of my favourite Viben songs to date, actually.

I think the other reason it makes me so happy is the art. I put a lot into that art, front and back, and it came out AWESOME. There's just no two ways about it: I'm really happy with the art for this. It looks like art that could be on a real CD. I'll post, maybe tomorrow, a progression of images about the creation of the CD art for this one.

Oh, I'm slowly buying up black T-shirts at the thrift store to turn into Flesh Socket T's. Marc's in a screen printing class this semester, and, some time in April probably, will burn me a screen, and I'll print up a bunch of Flesh Socket shirts. I'll post the art for those tomorrow too, or soon (I'm not quite don't with it yet). Anyone willing to actually wear them gets one for free. Drop me a line with the size you need, and if you prefer long/short sleeves, though I'm not going to guarentee that, but I'll try. I'll give/mail it to you as soon as we get them printed. I'm excited about that too. It'll be neat to have shirts! Also, if you've anything you think could use an inverted pentagram and a wall socket, with the words "FLESHSOCKET!" in metal gothic print, bring it buy, I'll screen that for you. Bwah ha ha ha!

Cook Ding butchered oxen with incredible skill. Placing a foot here, a knee there, turning about, he did a rain dance and conducted an invisible orchestra with his cleaver, never skipping a beat. The king visited and asked how he had attained such a strange, yet graceful technique.

The cook put his knife aside and said, “When I first became a butcher, all I saw was meat, meat, meat. Only after years of practice, could I see the entire ox. These days I cut with my spirit instead of my brain. ”

“An ordinary cook sharpens his knife every month; a good cook sharpens it every year. My blade has no width, and slides through the spaces and holes, never touching muscle or tendon, let alone bone! Proceeding like this, it has cut for nineteen years and is still as sharp as ever. The ox's natural grain provides the map, and only occasionally does a dense spot requires my caution.”

“You see, I can move my knife just... a little bit... and thunk! the meat falls away like dirt clods to the earth. Then I finish. Holding my knife, I stand up and look around, pretty dumbfounded. Then I clean it and put it away”

The King said, “Super Great. Now you have taught me how to truly take care of things.”



("Oh! Look at my hat: isn't it pretty?")

Date:	2008-01-28 14:49
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	indescribable
Music:	Sonata Artica - "Don't Say a Word"

I'm obscenely happy with how this collage turned out. There's something about the colour tone and the themes that just fell into place as I was doing it. It looks so planned, and yet was so spontaneous. Ten points to the first person that gets the same "deeper meaning" out of it that I do.

In other news, things are looking good for moving to Philly in May. Sarah's got an interview at University of Pennsylvania weekend after next, and things are moving along in my job to have me transfer smooth and clear. It's all very exciting. I'm really looking forward to moving up to PA, where there will be a real arts community to dig into, although that's a bit intimidating too. But I figure, what's the worst that can happen?

Date:	2008-01-14 16:28
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	energetic
Music:	Tonic - "Roses"

I got paid for this!



Now isn't that cool?

Date:	2008-01-08 16:35
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm
Music:	Tool/Deftones/APC

Well, it's been a little while, I admit. I'm not very good about the whole post-every-day/week/month thing. But I'm trying.

Break was nice, but too short. I got to see Andy a bit, over New Year's, though he had to work more than he was supposed to. It's good to see him -- I wish I could get down there more often, and I wish there was more I could do for him. Life has sort of beaten him down, made him more sober, more serious. Risibility has taken a bit of a back seat, while he tries to deal with some of the blows that life has dealt him. Poor Appalachia has been wearing on him, I think: the lack of money, white-trash/redneck culture in the part of Western North Caroline he lives in, the lack of any real appreciation for his music, or use for his degree... He's not in a place where his passions can come fully into play, and the things that ought to be in the background are pushing up to bother him, to scratch at him, to pull him down. Of course, really I'm just guessing at the whys: all I really know is that he's sobered, and saddened.

For Christmas, I went to Richmond. Saw some people, rested, had a good time. Sarah had a bit of a medical problem Christmas morning that landed her in the ER for a few hours, but she was fine after a little while, and nothing is seriously wrong with her, it seems. Gave us a good fright though, that's for sure.

Otherwise, I'm just working, and making art. I'm going to try stretching a piece of watercolour paper when I get home: I hope it works, because it's a seven dollar piece of paper. It'd be a shame to ruin it. It'll be neat to see if it works: the point of stretching the watercolour paper is to make it so you can wash heavily without the paper buckling. I'm going to do a large format version of a painting I did many years ago, that Marshall owns now, of a lighthouse. I was studying Tolkien's watercolour works at the time, and am planning on emulating some of his stylistic flourishes in the new version as well. I hope it turns out well: it'll be one of the more extravagant projects I've taken on recently.

Oh, and I'm getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow. That'll be fun. Woo hoo.

And here's a picture for you, because I know that's the only reason any of you come here. This is one of Brandon and my collaborative pieces, though this one has a stronger touch of Brandon in it. It's called "Why do you always have to beat her down?" and tells a story of abuse, transcendence, and hope.

Andy's band, Viben Oodle, just released their new CD! It's called Myspace.Generation, and is an ode to the internet. Andy sent me some advance mp3s, and it's the best album to date. I'm actually really amazed at how much they've matured musically: Josh's been MIA more than usual, so he isn't as involved with this project, and to compensate Andy's been using some really neat sound collage, pulling snippets from all over the place to add layers and texture. It's one of the cooler things he's done lately, honestly. Also, it's interesting to hear how the more recent Flesh Socket work has informed the style, particularly Parkers drumming. There's a heavier tone to a number of songs, and a degree of freeness that you can only get from a well-composed piece of music.


http://kunaki.com/Sales.asp?PID=PX00ZRS58F
http://www.myspace.com/vibenoodle

I only really wish that the culture wasn't so hostile to any type of music that's not pop or pop-rock or pop-country, or pop-whatever. Andy's jazzy-rock fusion music is so much better than 98% of what you hear on the radio, but I can almost guarantee you'll never hear Mein Eyeopening Love Broadcast on the airwaves. It's just not what the silly people want.

This could lead me into a rant about pop-culture and art in America (or Western Civilization in general, though I feel like Europe isn't quite as bad), but I feel like maybe I should save that for later. This is a happy post: there's new music that's good in the world today!

Date:	2007-12-18 10:58
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	nostalgic
Music:	Barenaked Ladies

Here's a new image I think I'll use for one of the more ambiguous Chuang Tzu chapters. Some chapters don't have any stories that lend themselves to illustrative story telling; in fact, there are a fairly large number like that. But that's okay, because it gives me leave to experiment, and to throw in pictures that are Taoist in intent, but wouldn't fit in with a particular story. Or even pictures that are stories in their own right, illustrating the themes of a chapter that has no stories of its own.





I did this at our weekly art gathering last week. It's in India ink, with yellow acrylic ink and burnt umber watercolour paint mixed together in a nearly 1:1 ratio for the background wash. The tree itself is adopted from a sketch of a little Krummholz pine I did while I was out in Colorado with Randy this past summer. It's from where we camped in the Lost Creek Wilderness, in the pinkish rocks. It was the tallest tree around, and I've made it considerably less lopsided than it was in reality: the thing was wider than it was tall!

That was also the spot where I saw an endangered Abert's squirrel, which has to be one of th cutest animals in existence (ear tassels!), and has a really interesting ecological niche and lifestyle. It eats the cambium of ponderosa pines in the winter, but only of the top-most parts of the tree, leaving these little tufts of pine needles behind. Foresters hate them for that, because their eating habits cause the trees to grow crooked, rather than straight and tall.



I've actually got several more sketches from that trip that I want to turn into paintings, a couple of them other Krummholz trees. I find the twisted forms really fascinating. Like natural Bonsai.

Date:	2007-12-12 15:31
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	pissed off
Music:	Serart - "Save the Blond"

So the other day Brandon and I were sitting in Bollo's (the local coffee shop), and the curator for the XYZ Gallery came up and revoked her promise of giving us a solo show for these collages, saying that solo shows were against XYZ policy. I say "Bull-shit!" I'm more than a little ticked.

Anyways, here is another image from this upcoming show.



I Don't Believe in Babies (Fallen Leaves)


You get points if you get the same things out of this piece as I do. The title is a clue about what I see in it: a statement about population issues, the ethicality of having children when you are not certain you can support them either physically or emotionally, with an ecological twist. I hope you like it.

Date:	2007-11-16 15:41
Subject:	more collaboration.
Security:	Public
Mood:	hungry

I like this one a lot. It's a bit more straight-forward than the last couple.



Cosmic Dream of Floating in the Cosmic Ocean of Cosmic Wonderfulness (Space Dog).

Date:	2007-11-15 13:55
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	moody
Music:	Tonic - Head on Straight

There's so much I want to say, so much I want to prove, to do, to accomplish. [I'm in a state, in a mood.] It's a bad time, for so many people right now, and it's a bad world that we live in. I want to help, to fix, to repair, and all I have are words, vapours, pictures and sounds, images and emotion. And it does me no good. Can we ever really touch one another, can we every really do anything that will really matter to one single other soul, or to the world in general? Life is pain mingled with beauty, companionship mingled with solitude, yin and yang. Sometimes all you can see is the one.

How can I touch you, if I can't see you?


You've lost your head over an insect, madame.

This is one of the collaborative pieces between Brandon Phillips and me. It fits my mood right now very well.






Auto-dephosphorylation (or:"How Hermes was sundered from the Afrodite by the eyezerbeams of Zeus, creating the thing which we call history.")

It would be
Perfect
Simplicity



That's how it used to be, but then that man called 'Holy Fathead' showed up and claimed some acts Right and others Wrong, some music Good and other music Bad, some flavors Savory and other flavors Shitty. You get the idea. Once their unity had been divided, people began to move around frantically, trying to reform the things labeled Wrong, Bad, and Shitty. Anyway, because they ignored the Way, they kept on trying to fix what wasn't broke. That Holy Fathead made the error of destroying simplicity, all because of Benevolence and Righteousness.


. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


Funny story about this one. I made up the last of the Chinese characters on the right there, and yet it turns out (or so Chi tells me - I suppose there's always the chance he's shitting me) to actually mean something. "Sleepy," as luck would have it. So the line of kanji says, loosely, "The Creative Tao (Way) is not Sleepy." Hehehehehe.

Date:	2007-11-06 15:54
Subject:	Boat!
Security:	Public
Mood:	bored
Music:	Muse - Black Holes and Revelations - "Map of the Problematique"

So here's a bit of Chuang Tzu for you guys:

Confucius was driving through the desert when he got a flat tire. They had no spare, so his student called an auto mechanic from his cell phone. When the mechanic heard that it was none other than Confucius with a flat, he said, “Man, I really feel sorry for that guy.”

The student asked, “Is that because of the flat?”

The mechanic replied, “No, Confucius has far bigger problems than that!”

He explained, “Visiting a witchdoctor during the day could be a good idea, because he might give you some useful potions. Visiting a witchdoctor at night is just asking for trouble, because that's when they practice evil voodoo. What's more, if you invite a witchdoctor into your house to cast spells over your sleeping body, then chances are that you'll have quite a few nightmares. It seems to me that Confucius has invited a permanent witchdoctor into his home to cast spells over his disciples' sleeping bodies. The cursed master gets chased from city to city, not because he wants to travel, but because he wears out his welcome. Sometimes he goes without food, living on the verge of death! Isn't that some voodoo-inspired living nightmare?”

When the mechanic arrived with a tire, he exclaimed, “No wonder you don't have a spare: this is a boat! Although boats work wonders in water, it's super tough work to push them across land. It looks like Confucius is dragging the ideals of the past around like this heavy boat. No wonder he has so many problems! I'll tell you, each era and place has different properties for you to consider before you can freely move around in it. If you try to conform the era or place to your ideals, it'll be like pushing a boat across land: too much struggle with too little accomplishment. Instead of this tire, I'll offer you advise. Just go with the flow of things and leave the boat behind.”




Well, I was really happy with how this painting turned out, mostly because of the sky. I've been trying to work on my skies lately. I went to a show entitled "Great British Watercolours" a while back, at the art museum in Richmond. It was, as you'd expect if you know anything about British art, kind of boring in subject matter. But what the Brits lacked in interesting subjects they sure made up in technique! Wow, these watercolours were amazingly executed, particularly the skies. When I got home, I looked at some of my paintings and I realized I've been treating skies as space-filler, as empty space, where I ought to've been treating them as a major part of the piece of art itself. Does that make any sense? Mostly I realized that my skys are flat and boring, and lack flair and talent, and the degree of realism I'd like them to have (even if I paint in a bit of an impressionistic style). So I started working on my skies. I have a little watercolour moleskine that I'm slowly filling up with studies of the sky.

And this painting is the first "large" sky I've done since then, and I think it turned out quite well.

I'm sad, because I don't actually think I'll be able to use this for the book. Apparently, there's a scene in the third Pirates of the Caribbeans movie that looks just like this (makes me sorry I put the Jolly Roger on Confucius's boat, but I suppose that wouldn't make that much difference). So everyone will think I lifted the image straight out of the movie, and I haven't even seen it! More importantly, there's liable to be legal copy-right problems. But I like the sky, so i thought I'd post it here at least.

Maybe I'll do a new image of the perplexed repairman, trying to put the new tyre on the boat.

For Milla.